Recent Stories

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)
2016
APR
27

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)

Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, you’re gonna be confused) Probably the number one thing I miss about living in the heart of Hollywood is being able to walk to giant events and goings-on around me. It makes you feel pretty g'damn awesome when you can just walk out your door and go to the most famous movie theatre in the world just to see a matinee. Or to the Pantages to ...
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)
2016
APR
27

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)

Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
One of the fun, albeit sometimes weird, things about living in a Big City -- especially one with such an entertainment-based economy as Los Angeles -- is that opportunities will fall into your lap in the strangest of ways, and there's a constant test of your willingness to go along with them. Behind Door Number One is "this thing some guy offered and you're not even sure if you'll ...
Last Year’s NYE Predictions (and some updates)
2015
DEC
30

Last Year’s NYE Predictions (and some updates)

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
Last year, on Dec 31st, I posted a series of drunken tweets predicting things that I thought would happen in 2015. I thought it might be fun, before I schedule a series of tweets to post tomorrow afternoon, to go through said tweets and see how I did. Below this list are some updates, and how to find my 2016 predictions. A new ...
I Was Hitler at Comic Con
2015
SEP
17

I Was Hitler at Comic Con

Filed Under : Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
Sometimes you get offered a gig that sounds like it'll either be a terrible idea, or such a weird idea that maybe something really cool will come from having the balls to take it head-on. A good example would be flying to Idaho to play a redneck in a zero-budget indie film that never got released. Another example is when a friend says "we need a guy to play ...
Another House Party Gone Wrong
2015
JUL
30

Another House Party Gone Wrong

Filed Under : Drug Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
I'm not going to pretend I'm a party animal, but I do love a good party and I've been to a lot of them in my time. It surprises me that, despite some of the craziest shit I've seen at parties, and the sheer number of private (and public, I guess) events that I've been to in my life that could reasonably be called a party, only two that I can ...
A House Party Gone Wrong
2015
JUL
30

A House Party Gone Wrong

Filed Under : Drug Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
I've long thought that anti-drug speeches, "abstinence-only" sex education, and all such "keep teenagers from doing teenager things" education is way too constrained and inside-the-box. They need to shift paradigms if they're really interested in getting teens onto the path of the straight and narrow. Instead of telling kids to abstain from sex -- send a 15-year-old kid on a date with a washed-up streetwalker at the end of her shift. ...
My Last Girlfriend (Part 4)
2015
JUL
20

My Last Girlfriend (Part 4)

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 11 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3, you're gonna be confused) I'm not proud of my behavior the night she came home. I'm completely ashamed. I heard her car pull into the outdoor parking garage beneath our apartment. I turned off all the lights, and unplugged the lamp that was normally connected to the switch near the door in the living room. Ditto the one in ...
My Last Girlfriend (Part 3)
2015
JUL
19

My Last Girlfriend (Part 3)

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, and/or Part 2, you might be confused) Around mid-2007, Melissa found a job at a goth clothing store near my apartment. She reasoned that, since she spent so much time around my neighborhood anyway, it would be best to just find a job around there. Most nights, after work, she'd hit me up and see if I wanted to hang out. Most nights, ...
My Last Girlfriend (Part 2)
2015
JUL
19

My Last Girlfriend (Part 2) NSFW

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Filthy Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, you might be lost) We were immediately close, in a way that doesn't make a lot of sense to me these days. I'm not saying it was a bad thing, at all. Just weird to think back to that time, and remember how I felt, and how foreign that seems to me today. I probably prevent myself from feeling that way, but I also think it comes down ...
My Last Girlfriend (Part 1)
2015
JUL
19

My Last Girlfriend (Part 1)

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Checking through my archive of photos, I found one from the night of the first date I went on after my last breakup, and the timestamp says "May 10, 2009". I realize it sounds a little weird that I've been single for over 6 years now. Hell, I've been on dates with women who were still in middle school the last time I was in a relationship. That said : 6 years ...