Recent Stories

The Godless Chronicles (Part 3)
2015
MAR
29

The Godless Chronicles (Part 3)

Filed Under : General Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
(if you missed Part 1 and/or Part 2, you're gonna be lost) Over time, Godless had picked up a pretty good following. The goth kids would come out in full force, and I got to know a few of them and sort of embed myself in the goth scene outside of Paradise Valley. Some of the members of Godless also had longtime friends ...
The Godless Chronicles (Part 2)
2015
MAR
28

The Godless Chronicles (Part 2)

Filed Under : General Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be lost) Over the course of a few months, we performed quite a bit. I had to be sneaked in to a few of the venues, being that I was barely 17 and the rest of the band was in their early 20s. Thankfully, Phoenix had a lot of all ages venues, so this wasn't as much ...
The Godless Chronicles (Part 1)
2015
MAR
27

The Godless Chronicles (Part 1)

Filed Under : General Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Godless was an industrial band in Phoenix in the late 90s, of which I was made a semi-member. Technically I was never part of the band, but I was associated with the band and I performed with them as what amounts to, basically, stage decor. Not that I minded it, I had a blast and I learned a lot and made some lifelong friends out of the whole experience. I wouldn't feel ...
The “Dude” Family
2015
MAR
26

The “Dude” Family

Filed Under : Childhood Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
It's apparently common for children to have imaginary friends, and I recall thinking my doll Koos-Koos  could hear me, but up until around 11 years old, I also had an entire imaginary family. They were the Dude family. To be a little more clear - it was actually just me who was the entirety of the Dude family. (this whole story is making me sweat with embarrassment cause I've never talked about this before, but ...
Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid
2015
MAR
25

Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid

Filed Under : Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Neither of these stories is long enough in its own right, but since they're on the same topic - maybe the two combined will be worthwhile. Story 1 The summer before my junior year, I worked at a movie theatre - part of a chain in Phoenix called "Harkins Theatres" (yes, this is where I met Jennifer). It was a shit job, and this was ...
My First Girlfriend
2015
MAR
24

My First Girlfriend

Filed Under : Dating Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
This is a story about Pam. You might remember her from the end of my Origin Story. As I'd mentioned at the time, her and Bill had broken up. It was a very amicable breakup in hindsight - being that I knew nothing at all about dating at the time, it didn't seem that weird, but now as an adult I'm ...
Happiness is a Sandwich on Your Own Sofa
2015
MAR
23

Happiness is a Sandwich on Your Own Sofa

Filed Under : Happy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Few things in this world can compare to the joy and freedom a young person experiences when they spend their first few days in their first adult home - a place with their name on a lease, no parents anywhere in sight. Freedom. And responsibility. But, let's focus on the freedom. The summer after I graduated high school, my mom and her husband were out of town a lot - which ...
Falling Into a Lifelong Career
2015
MAR
22

Falling Into a Lifelong Career

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
It really wasn't my intention to be in my mid-late 30s primarily as a web designer, secondarily as a comedian. I thought I was supposed to be a lead singer in a band. In some alternate universe, I'm screamin' out the hits. Maybe in that alternate universe, I can actually sing. So, how did I end up making websites for the past ~20 years? Well, it's kind of about a girl. Odd ...
Math is Confusing When You’re Tripping
2015
MAR
21

Math is Confusing When You’re Tripping

Filed Under : The LSD Chronicles  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
In my first apartment, when I was 19, we had quite a few LSD parties. Some of them were epic, others were a disaster. Such is the way when you're inviting way too many people into a 2-bedroom apartment to lie around in the dark and "expand their mind". My roommate at the time - Jim, the lead singer of a local band - didn't like doing acid. He preferred ...