Comedian Rev. Mitcz (reverend mitch) Marzoni appears jarring and abrasive, but presents an endearing and silly worldview on life and society. His comedic appeal is a mixture of his stage presence, his unique personal appearance, and his dark self-awareness that exposes a refreshing & surprising honesty. The energetic and often upbeat nature of his act becomes infectious - making audiences laugh at subject matter they'd normally find appalling.

Man, spam is getting weirder and weirder. I’ve gotten the following spam 4 times in the past week :

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Subject : “We Have Hijacked Your Baby”
Message : Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later…

We has attached photo of your fume

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OH HAI! WE CAN HAS UR BABY! U CAN HAS IT BACK IF U SEND FUNDZ!!!

I always thought the idea of spam was to appeal to as many people as possible. So, this particular piece is depending on the recipient being an English speaking parent with a baby that they’re not 100-percent sure is safe and secure at the time they read the email.

After all, it kinda ruins the fun if you wandered around the house, found your baby and went “ha! that email was wrong!”. I’ve gotta figure the percentage of people who this email could even apply to is pretty goddamned low.

But would an idiot think they received the email in error? Would they reply to the email and say “hey now, my baby’s fine. Did you mean to send this to Joe, down the street? I think HE has a baby. Good luck, Mr. Hijacker of Babies!”

The “attached photo of your fume” (I didn’t know babies were considered a gaseous form. Learnin’ something new every day) is actually a .zip file. I can only assume there’s an executable in there, meant to install some spyware/malware.

Again, would an idiot open the .zip file and think they were about to install a fun little program that would send them regular photo updates on the status of someone’s hijacked baby?

Now, if there’s some random chance that a person’s baby HAD just been kidnapped (oh, sorry, “hijacked”) – wouldn’t the person/place who sent that email have just gotten themselves in a world of shit? Sure, it’s tough to track these things down, but if some high-profile person received that email and it was, by astronomical chance, accurate – man… that’s a lot of trouble just to get someone to install your malware.

I wonder what the penalty is for telling someone you’ve hijacked their baby and then turned it into a gaseous form.

All I’m saying is… someone didn’t think this through very well. And they’d definitely be the world’s least efficient kidnappers.