Filthy Stories

These stories are particularly filthy, and might also contain lewd imagery. There are 15 stories so far
A Thing I Can’t Un-See
2015
APR
28

A Thing I Can’t Un-See NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
In my Junior year of high school, I dated a girl named Summer for a few months. This was before I'd had sex, and -- odd though it may seem now -- I was in no rush to change that. I really liked foreplay-style sex. Oral, fingers, handjobs, licking, biting, even dry-humping. I still love all of that, sometimes even more than sex itself (depending on the partner). Summer and ...
Reptilian Testicle Syndrome
2015
APR
25

Reptilian Testicle Syndrome NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
I've been pretty vocal across various performance outlets (internet TV shows, podcasts, stand-up comedy performances, other blog entries, tweets) about my pubic grooming habits. Some might even say that I'm an advocate for pubic grooming, since I've discussed it at quite some length, and I regularly recommend it to my male and female (though mostly male) friends alike. Though I used to shave my arms and legs in high school to ...
I love my dick so much, I bought it jewelry
2015
APR
2

I love my dick so much, I bought it jewelry NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
Having already told you about my first real body piercing, I figure it's time to discuss my personal favorite body piercing. Don't worry, there are no photos of my dick in this post. It was December, 1998. I'd been hanging out with this guy Kevin, who was a mutual friend of Cheyenne, and who worked at an AM/PM convenience store on the night shift . Now, this was a ...
I Did Some Gay Porn Once
2015
MAR
19

I Did Some Gay Porn Once NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
When I was 20, I lived in a 2-bedroom shithole apartment in the semi-ghetto of Phoenix. This 2-bedroom apartment was $455/month. This is when a 1-bedroom in a normal Phoenix suburb would average about $700/month, so you can imagine how shitty the area was. With rent that cheap, I never held down a job for the entire 8+ months I lived in this wretched, stinking, shithole apartment. Instead, I got by on whatever means I could. ...
I Cum Blood
2015
MAR
2

I Cum Blood NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 2 minutes
It's a weird day when you can sum up a medical issue by merely quoting the title of a Cannibal Corpse song. But if you live long enough and do enough weird shit, things like that are bound to happen. I was having morning sex with my girlfriend at the time - someone I'd been with for about 3 years at that point - and she was talkin' dirty ...
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