Story Archives

All stories (and updates) written since March 1, 2015.

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The Worst Job I Ever Had
2015
MAR
7

The Worst Job I Ever Had

Filed Under : Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
In the summer of '98, I was desperately in need of work. Having left a shitty newspaper gig where I thought I'd be a graphic designer, then a brief telemarketing stint, I was fucked and broke. My sister suggested a temp agency, since "you're so good with computers, they'll find you all kinds of work!". After the interview and paperwork, I was all set. It sounded kind of exciting : get in, get the job ...
That First Trip
2015
MAR
6

That First Trip

Filed Under : The LSD Chronicles  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
It was me, Eric, and Steve. Eric had done acid once before, so he was playing the "expert on this shit" card. That said, I'm glad we weren't all first-timers. It's good to have someone around who can bring you back to reality and say "I know, it's all very weird - but you're just trippin', and everything's fine". Before you actually take acid, you might get some ideas about what's ...
Yellin’ Into Yarn Bins
2015
MAR
5

Yellin’ Into Yarn Bins

Filed Under : Childhood Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 2 minutes
I don't know where I got the idea. I don't remember when I started. I don't remember when I stopped. But, of all the weird things I did as a kid, this one still stands out in the Top 5. My mother, being the artsy & craftsy lady she was, would drag me (and sometimes my sister) along with her to Michael's (the arts & crafts store, not some fella ...
My Mother Took Me to Hooker Central
2015
MAR
4

My Mother Took Me to Hooker Central

Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
This is a story I've told bits of over the years, but on Mother's Day 2014 I was doing a show in Reno and decided to tell it onstage. Below, you can hear the audio (which is my suggestion, cause it sounds better than it reads), or you can read the transcript below. The audio is about 5 mins long. quick note : this story has some exaggeration for the purpose ...
The Legend of Fred Hate
2015
MAR
3

The Legend of Fred Hate

Filed Under : Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
Back in high school, I was hanging out with my friend Rachel at a Denny's about 1/2 mile from my house . This was a pretty regular spot for us, since there was a coffee shop in that mega-strip-mall called "The Mean Bean" that will feature in other stories to come. It was night-time, maybe 8-9pm. Rachel and I were sat at a booth near the kitchen/counter area. There was ...
I Cum Blood
2015
MAR
2

I Cum Blood NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 2 minutes
It's a weird day when you can sum up a medical issue by merely quoting the title of a Cannibal Corpse song. But if you live long enough and do enough weird shit, things like that are bound to happen. I was having morning sex with my girlfriend at the time - someone I'd been with for about 3 years at that point - and she was talkin' dirty ...
When Playin’ It Cool Goes Wrong
2015
MAR
1

When Playin’ It Cool Goes Wrong

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Sad Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 3 minutes
It was winter of 2005. I was working for Vivid's web department, which was outsourced to a company in Woodland Hills, CA. I worked on a lean-and-mean team of less than 10 people. I was the only designer left. In addition : we had 2 programmers, 2 managers, 2 affiliate program heads, and another 2 guys whose roles I never quite figured out. I got along well with the whole team, but me and the 2 ...
Before I Get Started –  A Few Ground Rules
2015
MAR
1

Before I Get Started – A Few Ground Rules

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
As I've stated before, I'm intending to write 365 days worth of stories. Before I embark on this mission, and as a point of reference down the line, I'm going to lay out a few "ground rules" for myself and this blog, and also clear up a few questions before they're even asked. I Will... Attempt to (within my ability/memory/schedule) have a new entry posted ...
My own little 365 project
2015
MAR
1

My own little 365 project

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 2 minutes
When I launched RevMitcz.com way back in 2002, I was barely a comedian. I'd never acted outside of a school play . I wasn't really much of anything to pay attention to. But, I'd been blogging since 2000 (on LiveJournal) and I thought I should just go ahead and put all my blogs on my website. Keeping two blogs going felt silly, so I'd occasionally manually duplicate LJ entries back to my site. Some ...
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