Story Archives

All stories (and updates) written since March 1, 2015.

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Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 2)
2015
MAY
31

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 2)

Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) My first week in Seattle was surprisingly uneventful. Or at least... not that memorable. It was mostly house hunting, and a series of coffee shops, little restaurants, and the occasional bar. I was only 20 at the time, and I'd still never been drunk, so I didn't really care about bars that much. I was always the designated driver, though, so I ...
Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 1)
2015
MAY
30

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 1)

Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
I remember when I was a teenager and I had to tape episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 for my older sister, one of the first lines in the first episode was spoken by a voiceover and they said something like "they say your birthplace shouldn't be where you were born, but where you learned who you are - and this was my birthplace...". Using that line of logic, Seattle would be my ...
My First Real Adult Human Person Job
2015
MAY
29

My First Real Adult Human Person Job

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
It's a funny thing when you reach adulthood and you find out how many lies you were told throughout your life. They're mostly innocuous "white lies". Things adults will say to keep you in line and out of trouble, and with hopes that you'll make something of your life. That's all adults who give a shit about your life ever want -- a good life for you, and not having ...
Teenagers Swappin’ Oral
2015
MAY
28

Teenagers Swappin’ Oral NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
I've mentioned before the girl -- Amy -- that I dated for about 2 weeks early in my Sophomore year of high school that checked off a lot of "firsts" for me. This is a story about two more "firsts" with her : my first blowjob, and the first time I went down on a woman. At the time, I lived across the street from the middle school where my ...
Shakin’ Hands With Beef
2015
MAY
27

Shakin’ Hands With Beef NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
I don't know what you ladies said to each other in your younger years as light-natured ribbing. Hell, I'm not even sure if ladies do light-natured ribbing. But for us fellas, the list of jokes when you're young and poking fun at each other is pretty short : you masturbate too much you can't "get" a woman (see #1) your dick is tiny you don't last long in bed you're gay (much more common pre-2000 compared to today) It ...
Tina : The Pimp of Alt Porn
2015
MAY
26

Tina : The Pimp of Alt Porn

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
This is part of a series of posts about an internet-based live TV talk show I created/hosted called Aural Salvation. Reading about the origin of the show isn't required, but it might help give you some context. It would also help to know that I built up a large, enthusiastic audience by interviewing naked alt-porn girls, and a MySpace celebrity gone actual-celebrity. Since I already had a weekly drop-in to ...
Jeffree Star’s First Interview
2015
MAY
25

Jeffree Star’s First Interview

Filed Under : Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
As part of a few days of early Aural Salvation stories that explain how my show rocketed up in (relative) popularity in a short time, I've explained its origin, the early awkwardness of having to fulfill interview duties from the guy whose time slot I overtook, how I captured attention with a nudity-laden alt-porn plug, and now I'll tell you about the most popular episode -- for ...
How I Met The GodsGirls
2015
MAY
24

How I Met The GodsGirls

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Continuing in a series of posts about Aural Salvation (I'll be doing one more post tomorrow, then getting into other stories before I return to these), in October 2005 I had found out about an upcoming little alt-porn site called GodsGirls.com that was getting flack from the Suicide Girls website. I found this out because, in the MySpace days, you'd see hot chicks promoting all kinds of weird shit on ...
3 Days of Awkward Interviews
2015
MAY
23

3 Days of Awkward Interviews

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
In the first few weeks (maybe 2 months, actually) of Aural Salvation, I had to fulfill the interview obligations of my former co-host : Crazy J. Since I'd taken over his time slot and was, ostensibly, covering the same genre of music, bands who'd been expecting an interview with the station -- MusicPlusTV.com -- for whom I was hosting a show. I've known, and encountered, quite a few people in my life who ...
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