Story Archives

All stories (and updates) written since March 1, 2015.

Fry Fest ’98 (Part 1)
2015
MAY
13

Fry Fest ’98 (Part 1)

Filed Under : Serial Stories, The LSD Chronicles  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
A funny thing can happen when you're on LSD. You're on it for so many hours that it starts to just feel "normal". Like, you kinda think "man, I've crossed over -- this is my life now. This is how my brain works now". It's not a scary feeling -- unless you're a paranoid person, I suppose -- it's more of a euphoric feeling. You've got tingles all over ...
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
2015
MAY
12

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
I've mentioned, many times before, that my mom was not only a middle-school Drama teacher but that she also helped run a summer youth drama camp. The name of the camp (or is it "company" cause it's, like, play related?) was "Greasepaint", and it was founded by -- and predominantly run by -- a lady named Wendy. I just Googled "greasepaint phoenix wendy" and, sure enough, I had the right ...
A Nazi Misunderstanding
2015
MAY
11

A Nazi Misunderstanding

Filed Under : General Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
In the summer between 7th and 8th grade, Bill had moved away, Ian and I didn't really hang out, and Pam was busy with some older man. I was bored and looking for friends. I found one near my house, while skating around and he was doing the same. Let's call him Jed . Jed was a country-boy redneck type. His house was filled with crosses and American flags ...
A Few Short Mom Stories
2015
MAY
10

A Few Short Mom Stories

Filed Under : Happy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
It's Mother's Day, which is a day I normally try to ignore. But, on some level, I feel empowered around this time of year. It's nearly impossible to offend me , but the first Mother's Day after my mom died, all the emails and TV ads about "do something special for your mother this year" nearly made me cry every time. I had to ignore that and power through because it's ...
My First Handjob
2015
MAY
9

My First Handjob NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
I was in my Sophomore year Drama class. I overheard the hot, busty blonde girl behind me talking to the girl sitting next to her : "...I mean, I was kinda drunk, so I don't remember but apparently I sucked his dick...". My ears perked up. I turned my head slightly, making it known I heard her. She said "oh my god... did you hear that?". I assured her she needn't be ...
The “No Food” Roof Diving Team
2015
MAY
8

The “No Food” Roof Diving Team

Filed Under : Funny Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
There are some personal jokes you'll have with people you've known for years that take a long time to explain. And there's some things you did as a younger person that older you looks back on and thinks "jesus, I was fucking insane". This story incorporates both. When I started high school, I was living in a house across from the middle school where my mom worked. The previous owners ...
Thanks, and a Quick Update
2015
MAY
8

Thanks, and a Quick Update

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 1 minute
According to my stats, most stories on this site gather about 70 unique readers a day. The recent 5-part saga about The Craziest Woman I Ever Dated was averaging between 300 and 500 readers per entry. People I hadn't talked to in years were hitting me up. People that I'm 99% sure have never read anything I've ever written were responding. That was quite a rush, but I feel like ...
The Craziest Woman I Ever Dated (Part 5)
2015
MAY
7

The Craziest Woman I Ever Dated (Part 5) NSFW

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Filthy Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 9 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and/or Part 4, you're gonna be confused) Alan didn't care for my insinuation that he was pretending to be her friend only to swoop in on her during a moment of weakness. He said "despite how offended I am by that, I'm gonna do you a solid here, cause it sounds like she told you a lot ...
The Craziest Woman I Ever Dated (Part 4)
2015
MAY
6

The Craziest Woman I Ever Dated (Part 4)

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 9 minutes
(If you missed Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3, you're gonna be confused) I really didn't intend to hook up with my Canadian friend -- let's call her Natalie. I didn't think that option was even on the table, frankly. She came to town and wanted to hang out. So, we hung out at my place and watched Napoleon Dynamite which was -- at the time -- still relatively ...