My Unified Theory of Everyone breaks down into three personalities :

Type 1

I’m fine with myself, and I’ll take everyone as they come. I’m open to new friends, but I don’t need to be friends with everyone. I’ll act like myself in public and try not to make anyone uncomfortable, and reveal the parts of myself I feel comfortable with revealing.

Type 2

For some reason, people don’t like me or don’t like talking to me. I have few, if any, friends. I’d love to meet new people, so I’ll welcome any and all offers because I’d love to be in a position where I can turn people away. As it stands, I feel like a weirdo/creep/freak and I’m alone far more often than I’m comfortable with. I will downplay as much of the undesirable personality traits I have so more people will want to approach me and/or spend time with me.

  [ … ]


If you’re reading this, you’re looking at an all-new RevMitcz.com. I’ve imported all my blog entries from Mitcz.com (which reach back to my first-ever blog entry, from the LJ days in 2001), brought in all my YouTube shit, and cleaned up the site to be a central hub for all my shit.

It’s occurred to me that people who catch some aspect of my projects (Mitcz the Expert, Mitcz & His Dad, Aural Salvation, my stand-up comedy) weren’t immediately obvious to people who may have seen other projects I was involved in. To put it simply : finding out all of what I do and the ways I attempt to entertain meant googling around and/or going to multiple sites. That’s not something the average person would be willing to do, so things got swept under the rug in a sense. Furthermore, it became difficult even for me (“do I post this latest MTE episode to Mitcz.com and hope people see it in the feed at the bottom of RevMitcz.com?”, “How do I tell my blog readers that I’m performing next week?”, etc).  [ … ]


A somewhat-lengthy piece all about my first comedy special, the aftermath, and some shameless self-promotion.


I’m really fuckin’ tickled pink when I read shit like this. George Rekers, especially, is the perfect person to get caught up in a gay prostitution scandal. It’s not the first time, of course, but.. ohhh how deep the rabbit hole goes.

What I love about stories of hypocrisy from hate-mongers, gay-bashers, cross-bearers and the general stench of their associated ilk is just how fucking obvious the whole thing is. Every time another of these scandals pops up, “thou dost protest too much” rings like a church bell through the nation. I hope it continues on. In droves. Just an overwhelming outing of every hair-brained shitcock who stands at the ready of a podium, shouting hateful jargon and belittling innocent people for their lifestyles. That’s what I want.

If this trend continues, it goes towards the most glorious of paths : simply being hateful will come to mean you secretly love it in your private life.  [ … ]


About the day I tried out for Last Comic Standing (season 7) and all the insanity it entailed


I forgot I made this years ago, and never ended up printing or using it. I found it the other day while clearing out old files and thought “I need to post this around V-Day”. So, here ya go kids. Feel free to print it up and do whatever.

(if you’re offended by this : you’re hyper-sensitive, probably an idiot, and you’re reading the wrong blog)  [ … ]


I tell some pervy lies about a friend onstage, only to find out his mother and fiance were there. I tried to smooth things over by embarrassing myself.


Another year, another redesign of my blog site (Mitcz.com). This is probably one of the more mainstream looks I’ve used on this blog (or any of my personal sites), but I felt like it needed a little cleaning. Furthermore, I wanted to bring more prominence to things like “Mitcz : The Expert”, downplay my recent daily Twitter archive posts, and encourage myself to blog more. Here’s what I came up with..

Mi Vida Ridiculo

This is an area where I plan to tell stories about the whacky shit that goes on in my life. Too long for twitter, but not always long enough for a full blog post (though some stories will end up blog-length). I have a series of weird thoughts that go through my head throughout the day, sometimes triggered by an event, sometimes not. I thought it would be cool to have a little holding pen for them.  [ … ]


So, the mythical Jesus Tablet has finally been announced and revealed. My initial impression was lackluster. As the presentation grew on, it started to make more sense. Once the pricing was revealed? Ohman. They took it. Apple just killed the Kindle. Why would you buy Amazon’s $500 9.7″ black-and-white-just-a-reader when, for the same price, you get a full-color, touchscreen, multi-capable almost-laptop? Sure, there’s still the $250 Kindle, but .. again, why bother? Why be so crippled and limited?

Personally, I want the Kindle to fail. Amazon’s taking SEVENTY FUCKING PERCENT of the price on e-books and magazines. That’s just insane and fucking wrong. Sure, they’re providing the platform – but since the entirety of the platform depends on the content you consume with it, they’re cannibalizing their entire market. Also, the average price for Kindle books is $10. For Apple’s iBooks store? $5. Bam! G’night, Amazon.

Why it’s a game changer

Right off the bat – forget e-book readers.  [ … ]


I was reading through OKCupid’s fascinating number-crunching blog “OKTrends” and stumbled upon an entry about success rates for wording in messages. If you have 5 minutes to spare, give it a read.

Nonetheless, here’s a quick breakdown of Do’s and Don’ts.

Do Not…

  • Use netspeak/slang. (words like “ur”, “u”, “luv”) or bad spelling (“wut”, “realy”, “cant”)
  • Use physical compliments (“you’re sexy”, “beautiful”, “hey cutie”, etc)
  • Mention using outside services to get to know them (email, AIM, yahoo, cellphone, etc)
  • Mention god. Unsurprisingly (to me, at least), Jesus and God decrease reply rates even amongst other religious terms.


  • Be humble, especially for men. Surprisingly “sorry”, “awkward” and “apologize” all had high success rates.
  • Mention something in their ad. The phrase “you mention..” had the highest rate of any term
  • Mention a common interest. It appears common taste in a specific band is your best bet.
  • Compliment something non-physical. Phrases like “it’s cool that..”, “fascinating” and “awesome” did very well
  • Use “how’s it going”, “what’s up”, or even “howdy” (my fave).
  •   [ … ]

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