Rev. Mitcz : The Importance of Self-Loathing

Recent Stories

Mom Explains the Afterlife
2018
JUL
16

Mom Explains the Afterlife

Filed Under : Clean Stories, Happy Stories, Sad Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
My mom died 10 years ago this September. Cancer. The fucking bastard cancer, I don't even wanna capitalize it. I'm a momma's boy, like just about every other man on this planet, and I'd had many nightmares throughout my life about her dying. In the year leading up to it, knowing she likely wouldn't see another Christmas (her favorite holiday, and also her birthday), I was beside myself with grief ...
My First Crush
2018
JUL
8

My First Crush

Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
Shaleen. It doesn't matter what her last name is, as I could never spell it as a kid and I certainly don't remember how to spell it now. One of those weird long Russian-sounding names. I could probably dig through my closet and find one of my grade school yearbooks and figure out the spelling and look her up on Facebook, though I'm certain she's married with a new last ...
My First Tattoo
2018
JUL
7

My First Tattoo

Filed Under : Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
My first tattoo was a prison tattoo. Not delivered inside a prison. But it was delivered non-professionally, with a prison-made tattoo gun, by an ex-con, for the price of a 6-pack of beer. About as close as one can get to a prison tattoo without actually being in prison. It was 1998, I was 18 years old. I was living in my first apartment, I was regularly spending time with ...
Quitting Smoking, A Journey
2018
JUL
6

Quitting Smoking, A Journey

Filed Under : Drug Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
In my Origin Story, of Sorts, I said I started smoking around age 13 and kept on going for 20 years. That's almost exactly right. I finally quit in 2011. But, that wasn't my first attempt to quit the white-sticked devil. No, like almost every single smoker before me, there were many half-attempts, false-starts, and relapses. My first time quitting was right around Freshman year of high school. The summer ...
Stoya (Part 1)
2018
JUL
3

Stoya (Part 1) NSFW

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Filthy Stories, Happy Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
In all the stories I've told of dating, or sex, I've never revealed anyone's identity or name. It's not my style. But, this one's different for many reasons. The first of which is that I have explicit permission. Also : she's written about us. And it was later immortalized and illustrated in Heavy Metal magazine. While her story is more poetic and beautiful ...
Embiggening Dicks for Fame & Profit
2018
JUN
23

Embiggening Dicks for Fame & Profit NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
Embiggen (verb) : to make bigger or more expansive Let me roll back the clock to 2003. I've spoken before about my ill-fated mission to move to NYC by way of Florida, only to backtrack 3 days later. Some might wonder "wait, how did you finance that terrible adventure and not end up broke?". The short answer is : I digitally altered dicks to look larger than humanly possible. The long answer ...
My 2017 Predictions Reviewed
2017
DEC
31

My 2017 Predictions Reviewed

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
I did this in 2015 and 2016, because I'm fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it's a fucking hoot), so I'm doing it again this year. I'm going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2018 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2018 on Twitter or just by
My 2016 Predictions Reviewed
2016
DEC
29

My 2016 Predictions Reviewed

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
I did this last year, because I'm fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it's a fucking hoot), so I'm doing it again this year. I'm going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2017 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2017 on Twitter or just by just clicking ...