Rev. Mitcz : The Importance of Self-Loathing

Recent Stories

Embiggening Dicks for Fame & Profit
2018
JUN
23

Embiggening Dicks for Fame & Profit NSFW

Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
Embiggen (verb) : to make bigger or more expansive Let me roll back the clock to 2003. I've spoken before about my ill-fated mission to move to NYC by way of Florida, only to backtrack 3 days later. Some might wonder "wait, how did you finance that terrible adventure and not end up broke?". The short answer is : I digitally altered dicks to look larger than humanly possible. The long answer ...
My 2017 Predictions Reviewed
2017
DEC
31

My 2017 Predictions Reviewed

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
I did this in 2015 and 2016, because I'm fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it's a fucking hoot), so I'm doing it again this year. I'm going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2018 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2018 on Twitter or just by
My 2016 Predictions Reviewed
2016
DEC
29

My 2016 Predictions Reviewed

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
I did this last year, because I'm fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it's a fucking hoot), so I'm doing it again this year. I'm going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2017 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2017 on Twitter or just by just clicking ...
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)
2016
APR
27

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)

Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 10 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, you’re gonna be confused) Probably the number one thing I miss about living in the heart of Hollywood is being able to walk to giant events and goings-on around me. It makes you feel pretty g'damn awesome when you can just walk out your door and go to the most famous movie theatre in the world just to see a matinee. Or to the Pantages to ...
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)
2016
APR
27

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)

Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 7 minutes
One of the fun, albeit sometimes weird, things about living in a Big City -- especially one with such an entertainment-based economy as Los Angeles -- is that opportunities will fall into your lap in the strangest of ways, and there's a constant test of your willingness to go along with them. Behind Door Number One is "this thing some guy offered and you're not even sure if you'll ...
Last Year’s NYE Predictions (and some updates)
2015
DEC
30

Last Year’s NYE Predictions (and some updates)

Filed Under : Updates  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
Last year, on Dec 31st, I posted a series of drunken tweets predicting things that I thought would happen in 2015. I thought it might be fun, before I schedule a series of tweets to post tomorrow afternoon, to go through said tweets and see how I did. Below this list are some updates, and how to find my 2016 predictions. A new ...
Another House Party Gone Wrong
2015
JUL
30

Another House Party Gone Wrong

Filed Under : Drug Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 8 minutes
I'm not going to pretend I'm a party animal, but I do love a good party and I've been to a lot of them in my time. It surprises me that, despite some of the craziest shit I've seen at parties, and the sheer number of private (and public, I guess) events that I've been to in my life that could reasonably be called a party, only two that I can ...
A House Party Gone Wrong
2015
JUL
30

A House Party Gone Wrong

Filed Under : Drug Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
I've long thought that anti-drug speeches, "abstinence-only" sex education, and all such "keep teenagers from doing teenager things" education is way too constrained and inside-the-box. They need to shift paradigms if they're really interested in getting teens onto the path of the straight and narrow. Instead of telling kids to abstain from sex -- send a 15-year-old kid on a date with a washed-up streetwalker at the end of her shift. ...
My Last Girlfriend (Part 4)
2015
JUL
20

My Last Girlfriend (Part 4)

Filed Under : Dating Stories, Serial Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 11 minutes
(if you missed Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3, you're gonna be confused) I'm not proud of my behavior the night she came home. I'm completely ashamed, and I don't forgive myself for it or excuse it in any way. I heard her car pull into the outdoor parking garage beneath our apartment. I turned off all the lights, and unplugged the lamp that was normally connected to ...