Clean Stories

Stories you could tell your grandmother. Few, if any, vulgar words/language/situations. There are 4 stories so far
Mom Explains the Afterlife
2018
JUL
16

Mom Explains the Afterlife

Filed Under : Clean Stories, Happy Stories, Sad Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
My mom died 10 years ago this September. Cancer. The fucking bastard cancer, I don't even wanna capitalize it. I'm a momma's boy, like just about every other man on this planet, and I'd had many nightmares throughout my life about her dying. In the year leading up to it, knowing she likely wouldn't see another Christmas (her favorite holiday, and also her birthday), I was beside myself with grief ...
My First Crush
2018
JUL
8

My First Crush

Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 6 minutes
Shaleen. It doesn't matter what her last name is, as I could never spell it as a kid and I certainly don't remember how to spell it now. One of those weird long Russian-sounding names. I could probably dig through my closet and find one of my grade school yearbooks and figure out the spelling and look her up on Facebook, though I'm certain she's married with a new last ...
Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid
2015
MAR
25

Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid

Filed Under : Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 5 minutes
Neither of these stories is long enough in its own right, but since they're on the same topic - maybe the two combined will be worthwhile. Story 1 The summer before my junior year, I worked at a movie theatre - part of a chain in Phoenix called "Harkins Theatres" (yes, this is where I met Jennifer). It was a shit job, and this was ...
My Mother Took Me to Hooker Central
2015
MAR
4

My Mother Took Me to Hooker Central

Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Clean Stories  |  Est. Reading Time : 4 minutes
This is a story I've told bits of over the years, but on Mother's Day 2014 I was doing a show in Reno and decided to tell it onstage. Below, you can hear the audio (which is my suggestion, cause it sounds better than it reads), or you can read the transcript below. The audio is about 5 mins long. quick note : this story has some exaggeration for the purpose ...